I've been told this might be going too slowly and getting repetitive, is that a problem for anyone here?
i think the pace is just fine. the way the story unfolds feels natural to me, and the story itself is really enjoyable. so far it seems pretty simple, but solid. enough that i'm really reading this as much for the plot as for the smut. i'm honestly curious where this story is going.
as for being repetitive... that's a tad harder to say. if i have to give a critic, i'd say that perhaps the way you describe events in this story can use a bit of a polishing. i think the general what, who, where, when, why and how in the story can be made clearer. as it is, i sometimes feel that scenes in this fic rather lack developed personalities, so to say, to distinguish them from one another, that if i don't exert some extra attention they sort of blur together. i suspect that can also give an impression of repetitiveness, even if the fic itself isn't repetitive per se.
well, just my two cents. thanks for writing this story! there's so few serious uke!Seph works out there, and i've really enjoyed reading this. :)
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 11:58 am (UTC)i think the pace is just fine. the way the story unfolds feels natural to me, and the story itself is really enjoyable. so far it seems pretty simple, but solid. enough that i'm really reading this as much for the plot as for the smut. i'm honestly curious where this story is going.
as for being repetitive... that's a tad harder to say. if i have to give a critic, i'd say that perhaps the way you describe events in this story can use a bit of a polishing. i think the general what, who, where, when, why and how in the story can be made clearer. as it is, i sometimes feel that scenes in this fic rather lack developed personalities, so to say, to distinguish them from one another, that if i don't exert some extra attention they sort of blur together. i suspect that can also give an impression of repetitiveness, even if the fic itself isn't repetitive per se.
well, just my two cents. thanks for writing this story! there's so few serious uke!Seph works out there, and i've really enjoyed reading this. :)