poor Brangwen. That was really a disaster of a marriage night. Brangwen seems to have had few sexual partners; she isn't telling herself of numerous people that desired her and just figuring that the problem lies solely with Cloud.
In your sex scene with Brangwen and Elena, there were times that I could not figure out who was kissing or petting whom. You have her hands and her lips moving, but I wasn't sure if that was Elena's or Brangwen's hands or lips. If you rewrite this could you use proper names more often.
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timeasmymeasure
horrible night
Date: 2008-08-08 05:18 pm (UTC)In your sex scene with Brangwen and Elena, there were times that I could not figure out who was kissing or petting whom. You have her hands and her lips moving, but I wasn't sure if that was Elena's or Brangwen's hands or lips. If you rewrite this could you use proper names more often.