Question about Indenture

[jessara40k_lj]

Okay, I just got this review over on ff.net:

"The storyline you presented in the summary was interesting, but I'm not seeing any of it so far. There's just sex, sex, and sex. I hope you make this fanfic more than just that by bringing more storyline to it. The story started out fine, but the past two or three chapters have completely lost the plot. I hope the dilly-dallying will end in this chapter and we'll get to the plot in the next.
Keep writing, because the plot you told of in the summary sounds promising on the condition that it's not just sex. It sells, but as a writer you should want so much more than that.

Ciao For Now Everyone!"

I honestly thought that it was clear what the purposes of each sex scene were, and that I'd advanced the plot in each full chapter, since the sex scenes don't take up the whole of the chapters. So, is the reviewer being fair, am I putting too much sex in, or is the reviewer just not recognising the plot points?

Comments

[elfling-eryn.livejournal.com]

Uhm, I don't really know how exactly you phrased the plot.
But with being a concubine sex usually is involved all the time. I mean, a concubine is meant for sex, isn't she/he.
How should they get into contact with their masters if not getting into their bed?
I can't understand such a review.
I think your 'just sex' chapters involve a lot more plot than this person I able to understand. It's a little subliminal, sure, but that's half of the fun, isn't it?

[jessara40k.livejournal.com]

Well, my summary was this

"Cetra Restoration AU, the story of how Elena ended up a concubine in Rowan's harem, and what happened after she was given to Cloud. Includes slavery, issues of consent, bondage, ff and mf"

And yes, sex is an integral part of what concubines do. I'm glad to hear that I wasn't being too subtle with the plot points I wanted to bring up in the sex scenes.

[elfling-eryn.livejournal.com]

well, maybe you should have put 'sex' as an explicit warning. There are some guys who obviously can't read between the line
*is happy she isn't one of these guys*

[jessara40k.livejournal.com]

well, maybe you should have put 'sex' as an explicit warning. There are some guys who obviously can't read between the line


Maybe. I sent a slightly snarky PM in response detailing some of the ways each 'sex scene' moved the plot along. Heck, the first interlude isn't even a sex scene, it's pillow talk.

[elfling-eryn.livejournal.com]

*nodds*
I think it's great.
Don't let other people make you doubt your work!
*gives cookies*

[jessara40k.livejournal.com]

I won't. Thanks for the reassurance.